So What do You Think?

Once people find out we're pastors, we inevitably get questions that run something like this: "So what do you think about... ?" You fill in the blank: whether it's women or pot, homosexuality or hell, just insert your favorite issue and you'll get the gist.

Questions like these are hard to answer. Not because we don't have positions, but because you never know for sure what the asker is after. Are they really interested in understanding what I believe and where I'm coming from? Or is this simply just another a litmus test - a quick way to determine whether I'm a friend or foe?

You know what I'm talking about here - agree with me and we're pals, I will lavish my affection upon you; disagree and we're enemies, and will punish you with my disapproval, I will cut you out of my life. Fundamentalist Christians do this all the time, but so do fundamentalist pagans (and so do all of us in between, because we all naturally tend to surround ourselves with people who agree with us).

But it's a scorched earth policy on all accounts, because the only relationships that come from this kind of approach are either contingent (they depend on a list of things we must first agree upon) or superficial (they require us not to be honest about what we really think). Yet what are most of us looking for? Relationships that are deep and honest, relationships where we can be ourselves and be accepted in spite of ourselves.

So how DO we try to answer questions like these? Let me see if I can make this real, by picking something controversial, and trying to illustrate how I'd explain it.

What if someone asked me me about Jesus - is he the only way to get to God? I mean, come on, that seems so exclusive, so judgmental of others! Surely we don't believe something like that do we? What do I say?

Well actually, yeah, we do. But maybe not for the reasons you might think. And before I'd ever want to talk about my opinions, I'd much rather hear yours first: What do you think? And why?

That first part (the 'what') is important, because I'm really interested in knowing where you're coming from. And the second part (the 'why') is even more crucial, because it's going to tell me something about who you are, about how you see the world, about the concerns that are driving your question in the first place.

If you think that Jesus isn't the only way to get to God, maybe it's because that's all you've ever heard from those around you, maybe you've just never really thought about it.

Or maybe you've known people who thought he was the only way, and then they tried to shove it down everyone else's throat, maybe you just swore you'd never be like those people.

You see, there are a plethora of reasons for why people believe what they believe, and if we don't take the time to really listen, it's easy to end up speaking past one another.

Ok, so now I know about what you think; it's my turn, you say, ante up: what does Christian Cryder believe?

Alright, I'll tell you. I do believe Jesus is the only way to get to God. And yeah, it does sound exclusive at first blush. But even as I acknowledge that, I'd like to qualify it with two really important considerations.

First, I'd like you to consider WHY I think that.

If I am clinging to that belief, the idea that Jesus is the only way to get to God, in order to make myself feel superior to you (because I 'get it' and you don't), if I am using that 'truth' to feel better about myself while I look down on you, then I would be the kind of person Jesus calls a hypocrite and you would be absolutely right in rejecting me for it.

BUT, if I embrace the idea that Jesus is the only way to get to God, not because I like it, not because I think I'm better than you, but simply because Jesus himself claimed that, well... you may still have a beef with Jesus. Maybe he's wrong. Maybe we're just stupid for believing him.

But at the very least, I would hope that you could see that we're just being honest and authentic, even when it's unpopular. And I would hope you could at least respect us for that, even if you never agree with us.

So that's the first thing I want you to hear - that it's not just what we believe, but why we believe. Motivation matters bigtime.

And here's the second thing - I would want you to know that even if you completely disagree with us on this issue (the idea that Jesus is the only way to get to God), you are still completely welcome in our church and as our friends. Far too often, what gets communicated non-verbally in conversations like this is that you need to agree with us in order to have a relationship with us. And we think that is wrong.

We want to be really clear - we will never, ever reject you simply because you can't agree with us on something. We value you as you are, we want to listen to you well, to understand where you're coming from, and we invite you to speak into our lives (because maybe you see something we don't).

Maybe we need you, maybe you need us. But neither of us will ever know where we're blind if we only surround ourselves with people who agree...

So there you have it. That's how I'd answer that question, and that's how I'd preface just about any answer I give on anything. But why am I sharing all of this in the first place?

Part of it's in response to a question from Graham (in the comments, over here). He raised some specific issues, and I want to explain why we don't just respond to stuff with a list of bullet points: "Here's what we think on this, that, and the other..."

Polarized issues are hard to talk about. It takes a commitment to relationship, even if we don't agree. And these kinds of questions are often best discussed in person, over a meal or a beer, rather than in an impersonal forum like a web site. So that's why we don't just run straight to into a discussion.

Nevertheless, these are good questions, and they do need to be discussed, because ultimately, someone like Graham doesn't just need to know what we believe - he needs to know why we believe it, to figure out whether we're hypocrites to be rejected, or fools to be pitied. And to do that, he's going to have to spend some time getting to know us, our character. It's going to take time, relationship, and conversations.

It's also going to take getting to know the Jesus of the Scriptures (at least a little), since that's who Christians claim as their ultimate authority.

At the end of the day, that's the only way to tell whether we're being consistent (eg. whether we look, act, and think like Christ). It's also the only way to ever develop an informed opinion about Jesus (eg. by looking at what he says himself, not just what others say about him). Maybe he's a sham. Or maybe he's not. But you'll never know without examining him.

We want to welcome that kind of conversation, not stifle it. So what do we think? Lets get together and talk about it...

Scandalized

Many of you who are reading this probably found your way here via Jessie McQuillan's recent article on us in the Indy (12/20/07). Welcome to All Souls Missoula.

I haven't read what Jessie's written yet, but from what I know of her character and caliber, I suspect she'll give us a fair shake. She turned over lots of stones, asked a ton of questions, and scurried down on all sorts of rabbit trails (which is precisely what good journalists do).

And we encouraged her to call it like she saw it. At the very least, the story should be interesting (we provided plenty of fodder, and Jessie knows how to write). But if you came here looking for us to rant about the press, you'll be disappointed. Sorry.

So why else might you be here?

Some of you might be here because you're curious. Maybe you're looking for community, maybe you're looking for a church, maybe you're just looking.

Whatever the case: welcome. Take a look around. Make yourself at home. Just be forewarned, if you're expecting "yet another evangelical church," we're probably not it. At least not in the way you might expect. So ask lots of questions. Figure out what makes us tick. See if we're on the same page. If so, great. And if not, that's fine.

Of course, some of you are here for a different reason: you're skeptical. And that's good too. You should be. But maybe not for the reasons you might think. After all, much of what passes for Christianity these days probably isn't.

So how do you discern the real from the fake?

If you're like me, you probably start by looking for the dirt. The fine print. The skeletons in the closet. After all, everyone has them. It's like that classic line from the Princess Bride: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something."

The same thing applies to the church - anyone who claims theirs isn't dirty is probably selling something. In fact, when it comes to church, 'dirt' is actually part of the definition: if Jesus came for "sinners" rather than "saints" we shouldn't be surprised when they show up in church. That's who it's there for - broken people who aren't all cleaned up.

So what we're really looking for as we evaluate churches (or people) is a particular kind of dirt. You know what I'm talking about. It's the hypocrisy. The scandal. These are the reasons we (rightly) write off churches.

And that's why some of you are here. To figure out our scandal.

Once again, though, it might not be what you expect.

Here's the deal. If you spend any amount of time poking around our site, or reading Jessie's article, or just hanging out with us, you are going to find things that seem scandalous. Guaranteed.

Some of you, for instance, will be appalled to learn that we actually baptize babies (gasp!), or that we dig 16th century theologians like Martin Luther and John Calvin (shudder!). Others will be horrified to discover we think the Bible is God's word (puh-lease), and that Jesus really meant it when he said he was the only way to get to God (how narrow minded!).

Oh yeah, we forgot to mention that we belong to a denomination that doesn't ordain women. And we like to drink and smoke. Sometimes we even cuss.

At this point, pretty much everyone in the world reading these words is seething in rage at something I just mentioned (kind of a funny picture, don't you think?).

But that's precisely the point - if you get to know any church well enough, you will discover some thing that just scandalizes you. And you'll be so pissed off you have to walk away.

Eventually (if you last that long), you'll either stop walking back into churches altogether (many do), or you'll start choosing not to look in any closets (don't ask, don't tell, and maybe no one will get hurt). The problem with the first approach is that you cut yourself off from community; and with the second you end up settling for something that's not real community anyway. It's a lose-lose situation.

And that's not just the nature of church - that's the nature of every relationship.

If I could pick any person in the world, and see them deeply enough, read their mind, discern their motives, look beneath the veneer, I'll bet I would find something that I despise.

Why? Because they are not me.

That's how all of us work. And that brings us to the real scandal (the 'scandal behind the scandal').

It's not that there are things about us (or any church, or any person) that positively piss you off, that make you want to walk away and never look back. Nope, that's suprisingly un-scandalous.

The real scandal is that some people who feel exactly like you do - positively scandalized by something we believe - will nevertheless choose to be a part of this crazy church thing called All Souls Missoula. Some will. Some already have.

And the real question is how to explain that.

Why on earth would someone who's diametrically opposed to us - on theology, or Jesus, or the pro-life issue, or whatever - still be attracted enough by what's happening here to actually pitch in and get involved? To talk rather than walk, to engage rather than bail. To listen, to learn, and to love one another deeply, even if we don't share convictions about some really big things.

To us, that's the real scandal, and the the real story. I don't know whether Jessie will capture that, or if she'll even try. But if I was looking for dirt, that's where I'd start.

So there you have it. Food for thought. Or ammo for the guns. Either way, we'd love to talk about it over coffee or a beer. And now you know where to find us...

Christmas Eve Service

Every year, it seems Christmas becomes more and more commercialized, less and less meaningful. And far too often, our response is simply to try and cram more 'holiday season' into our already packed schedules - more parties, more decorations, more presents (they always seem to cost more too), more stuff that needs to get done before we can actually sit down with family and friends. Then suddenly, before you know it - *poof!* - another Christmas come and gone. Too often, the only thing that remains is a feeling that we'd like to do it differently next year.

What would it look like to actually inhabit Christmas - not the cheesy Hallmark version that gets peddled to us every October through December, but the real Christmas, the ancient version, that one that goes all the way back to events so significant it actually moved people, reordered their entire year, their lives?

Would would it be like to experience that kind of Christmas - be it ever so briefly - the kind where God reaches down from the heavens and touches humanity? I'm not sure how we get there. But I know I'd like to try. And I suspect that it's only going to happen in a community of friends who share that same desire, rather than off on my own.

So here's the deal. We'd like to invite you to join us for an informal Christmas Eve service from 7-8 PM on Mon, Dec 24 @ the Cryder's. Anyone is welcome, even if you've never been to anything before, even if you're not sure whether you believe in Jesus or not. A time to sing, to listen, to contemplate, to make the Christmas story our own, all with friends.

If you don't have any plans for Christmas Eve, we'd love to have you join us. Contact Christian (529-5568) if you have questions or need directions.

1st Annual Christmas Party

It's official! We're throwing our 1st annual Missoula Project Christmas Party and we'd love to have you and your friends join us! Here's the skinny...

• festivities start on Friday Dec 14, at 7 PM
• we'll be having fine wine and amazing tapas (light appetizers)
• beginning at 9:30 PM we'll have live music by local legend, David Boone! (if you missed him at the Wilma, you can catch him in our basement)
• because of space considerations, we're asking parents to get a sitter for young children, and we're limiting attendance to the first 50 folks who RSVP (which means, you probably ought to click that link RIGHT NOW and let us know you'd like to come el pronto, before someone else does first!)
  

Here's one other thing. Normally, Missoula Project parties are completely free of charge. This time around though, we'd like to do something special for some people in our community who could use our help. Here's the skinny.

Would you consider making a tax deductible donation (~ $10/person) when you arrive? The Missoula Project will match all funds raised (up to $1000) and use them to help "adopt" two or three single mothers in our community who don't have any other support network. We'd like to help them with Christmas presents, clothes for their kids, unpaid bills, as well as any physical needs. We'd like to brighten their holiday season, but we'd also like to be a resource for these women all year long.

Would you help us with this effort? Even if you can't come to the party, you can still contribute to this effort - simply make out a check to the "Missoula Project" and write "single moms" in the memo line. You'll get a receipt for financial purposes at the end of the year. We'll keep you posted on how the money gets spent.

In addition, we may identify additional non-monetary physical needs - like helping to install a new water heater, or passing along some toys that your kids have outgrown, or maybe just being willing a mother's children so she can have a break. If you'd be interested in helping us think creatively about meeting some of these less tangible needs, please let Austen (218-8181) know.

We look forward to celebrating Christmas with you, and we invite you to help us make someone else's Christmas a little better while we're at it.

Vision Dinners

So we've been here in Missoula for over a year now, asking lots of questions, seeking to understand what makes this city great and where it still needs work. And many of you have been invaluable in this process - you've shared your insights, offered suggestions, and you've welcomed us into your lives.

Now we'd like to return the favor, by sharing what we've learned, where we're headed, and how you can be involved (whether you are a follower of Jesus or not).

In the last week of November, we'll be hosting a series of "Vision Dinners," and we'd like you to join us. There's no commitment on your end. This is simply our way of saying 'thanks' and letting you know where we see things going from here. It's a chance to share a great meal, hear about our vision, ask questions and offer feedback. It's our way of keeping you in the loop.

If you have any kind of interest in the Missoula Project - whether a lot or a little - you should really try to make one of these evenings. We hope to paint a clear picture of where we're going over the next year, how we hope to serve this community, and how we hope to be a community (where you don't have to share our convictions in order to be our friends).

• WHERE: The Cryder's place (2307 River Rd).
• WHEN: Wed, Nov 28; Thu, Nov 29; and Sun, Dec 2; from 6:30 - 9 PM.
• WHAT: A great evening of food and friends.
  

So there you have it. If you're interested in coming, please let us know which nights work best for you. If you have questions, call Christian (529-5568) or Ryan (529-2468).

We look forward to seeing you soon!