Jesus & Pot

"So what do you think about smoking pot?" That's what the young woman asked me, Joe Pastor, as she leaned across the table in Wordens where we were eating lunch.

That's a good question. After all, Scripture doesn't exactly say a whole lot about the demon weed (other than in Genesis 15, where it's God doing both the smoking and the pot - bet you didn't know that was in there, did you?).

So how would you answer this? And what's the truly Christian response?

Too many times we would-be followers of Christ say little more than "Bad dog! No biscuit!" as we wag our finger disapprovingly in the asker's direction. But is there a better answer? Can we say something more? What would Jesus say if he was the one answering? Be careful not to assume this question is a gimmee.

With cases like this, I think its often helpful to consider what's NOT being asked - or rather, to ponder the question behind the question, the real premise that often lies unexpressed. You see, someone who asks this might actually be asking a several different things, for several different reasons.

For instance, he might be saying "Does God even care what I do with my body? Does this 'faith' thing have any connection with the way I live my 'real life'? Or are the two so disconnected that I can do whatever I want in the here and now as long as I 'believe in God' as being important for the hereafter?"

In a case like this, I'd want to say, "Hey, God DOES care what we do with our bodies." Jesus doesn't just come demanding intellectual allegiance - he actually has the gall to claim authority over every inch of creation, over every breath we take. Jesus demands we acknowledge him as Lord ("the big Kahuna") in everything we do. This is why he can say that ANYTHING that does not flow from faith-in-him is nothing less than rebellion, sin, wrong.

My wanting to smoke pot is nothing less than high treason if I'm pursuing it for my own sake, my own indulgence, as my own little corner of the universe where I get to do what I want, to be my own king.

And my NOT smoking pot can be exactly the same thing - just as self-serving, just as treacherous, just as wicked in God's sight.

Yes, you heard me right - choosing NOT to smoke pot could actually be a sin. (I realize it's probably been a while since you heard a pastor say that from the pulpit. Preaching is a dismal affair these days).

You see, someone might actually be asking a very different question altogether: "Does God love me more because I DON'T smoke pot?"

To restate the question slightly, "If my irreligion (my badness) results in wrath, shouldn't my religion (my goodness) earn me favor?" The answer (surpisingly) is no. Here's why.

Far too often, Christians use "sins" like smoking pot (or whatever your favorite vice might be) as both a hammer and a ladder.

As a hammer, we point to people doing "bad things" and just nail them right between the eyes with it - we withhold our approval (or dish it out) based on whether or not the person conforms with our standard of morality. But Jesus doesn't deal with people this way - he tells them to trust in his goodness, not their own.

As a ladder, we use this same standard to prop ourselves up, to give ourselves pats on the back because we're "good people", we do "good things", and we're not like all those nasty "sinners" ("Thank you God that I'm not like all those other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get. Don't you love me because I'm so good and holy and obedient?"). Jesus rightly reserves his harshest criticism for people like this - whitewashed tombs! hypocrites!

You see, we can do all the right things, but for all the wrong reasons. We can do what is "good" not because it's good, but because we see an opportunity to use that "goodness" to make ourselves look better than others. No wonder Jesus got ticked (and if Jesus is pissed, then God's not buying it either).

So in a case like this our answer should be emphatic - absolutely NOT! If you think God loves you more because you are NOT smoking pot, or less because you ARE, then you don't really understand the message of Christ. You do not know what grace is yet.

God does not wait for us to clean ourselves up. He doesn't give us an ethical standard of behavior, a set of rules, a list of dos-and-don'ts, and then lavish his affection on those who measure up, and frown disapprovingly on those who don't.

Nope, his criteria is much simpler than that: Are you family? Are you royalty? Are you a son or daughter of the King? Blood really is thicker than anything else. Especially when it belongs to Christ, poured out for us. He meets us where we are (although he never leaves us there).

In light of this, there is a very real sense where it doesn't matter one whit whether or not you are smoking pot. The only thing that matters is this: Do you have Christ as your big brother? Are you clinging to him for all your rightness and approval from God? Because he alone is the entry point to God's favor, and he's not just the door - he's the whole house and estate as well.

Jesus Christ IS the promised land. He is the bread of life. He is living water. He is everything we are looking for in everything else (including pot). He's not just for the sweet-bye-and-bye. He delivers life in the here and now.

If I have Christ, God cannot love me more than he already does. Even if I smoke pot. But everything that pot is, all the good that it gives, that's just a pale reflection, a dim echo, pointing to something bigger and better and stronger. Something that is only found in Christ.

So does God care if we smoke pot? Absolutely. And absolutely not.

Both of those statements are equally true. And the answer that is most appropriate depends entirely on the question behind the question, on where the person asking it is really coming from. It depends on her context, her motive, her heart.

And to figure that out, I'm going to have to have a relationship with her first - I'm going to have to learn to listen, to ask good questions, to discern what she's really asking. I'm going to have to learn to love her, not because she agrees with me, not because she props up my particular code of conduct, but simply because she is created in the image of God, and he loves her, even while she is still his enemy, even before she's got it all together, even while she is still a work in progress.

Just. Like. Me.

You see, even at my best, I am still a piece of work - always in process, never fully arrived. And I need to constantly remember that God loves sinners just like me, so much that he was willing to die for me. And for her. And for him.

At the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is this - will I acknowledge my own inability to measure up; will I put all my hope and trust in Christ's goodness on my behalf; will I pledge my allegience to him, rather than to myself.

Does that sound scandalous? It should. Is it intoxicatingly freeing? Absolutely. Why? Because it gets me over myself, and it allows me to really love others where they are, without requiring them to change first.

I wonder how many of us are really willing to love like that?

To love Christ, not because of what he can do for us, but simply because he himself is stunningly beautiful and lovely? To love those who are different from us, even if they never change or become like us, simply because God himself has loved them first?

To love ourselves, not because of anything we do, or haven't done, but simply because God himself loves us already, because he's tickled pink with Jesus, and if we're with Christ then we're ok too - because what's ours is his, and what's his is ours, and nothing (not even pot) can separate us from the love of God.

We'd like to be a church where you can put THAT in your pipe and smoke it...

What's to Love About Missoula

As we get to know Missoula, there are a number things we've come to love about this city. We figured you might enjoy them too. (This list is by no means exhaustive, but if you're new to our community, these might be good places to start. And if you see something you think we've missed, please let us know about it...)

• Arts - there's no doubt about it, Missoula is a great place for the Arts, and the quality is surprisingly high for a small town in the middle of nowhere...
  
• Missoula Art Museum (MAM) - a first class art museum, with a great selection of Native American art)
  
• Missoula Children's Theatre (MCT) - the largest children's theatre in the world, and they do a stellar job with adult productions as well
• Missoula Symphony - a great little symphony, with a brand new conductor
  
• Breweries and pubs - there's no doubt about it, we have a soft spot for the Kettlehouse and Sean Kelly's, not just because they're great places to get a good beer, but because they're great places to hang out with friends and build relationships.
  
• Coffee shops - Missoula is home to some remarkable places to get your daily fix. Here's a handy dandy list of our favorite spots...
• Community & culture - (more info on a lot of these at the Missoula Downtown Association)
  
• First Fridays - the first friday night of every month downtown businesses host the work of local artists. Take a stroll around downtown and enjoy!
  
• Farmer's Market(s) - there are two, actually: the Clark Fork River Market (in Caras Park, by the fish scultures), and then the Missoula Farmers' Market (at the north end of Higgins by the train tracks).
• Out to Lunch in Caras Park - where else does an entire community get together on Wednesdays for lunch?
  
• Garden City Brewfest - second Saturday of May, downtown in Caras Park (you really don't want to miss this)
• Missoula Carousel - a favorite for kids of all ages, located downtown in Caras Park
  
• Non-profits worth supporting - Did you know that Missoula is the home to the largest number of non-profits per capita of any city in the nation? Wow! Of course, there's no way we can list them all here. Instead, we'll just share some of our favorites (and we know folks in almost all of these - we'd highly recommend them to anyone looking to volunteer in the community)...
  
• Free Cycles - a community bike shop, where you can get help fixing your bike or building a new one. Cool.
  
• The Poverello Center - a great organization that provides food and shelter for the homeless in Missoula.
  
• YWCA - these folks do a lot to help women in crisis.
• Youth Homes - similar to the above, but with an emphasis on kids (emergency shelter, group homes, foster care - these guys have been here for the long haul).
• 1st Way - a great organization serving women with unplanned pregnancies (they pregnancy tests, ultrasound, and can help women understand their options)
  
• Garden City Harvest - they run community gardens throughout the city
  
• Clark Fork River Cleanup - an annual earth day celebration where 300+ folks turn out to clean up the river.
• Hellgate Hunters & Anglers - a local grassroots chapter of the National Wildlife Federation, these guys work hard to restore wildlife habitat and promote conservation
  
• Sustainable Business Council - an organization dedicated to helping businesses in Missoula buy local to promote a sustainable economy.
• News and events - anyone who has lived here will tell you that one of the hardest things about Missoula is keeping up with everything that is going on. Here's how we try to cope...
  
• The Independent - Missoula's alternative newspaper (which is pretty darn mainstream, when you consider how many people read it). Great insight into some of the fascinating people that give Missoula its character...
• New West Missoula - a great online site for news and views of all things Missoula
• Missoula Events - a weekly calendar of what's going on here in the Garden City
  

Please note that none of these links imply any sort of "endorsement" on the part of the businesses or organizations referenced - many of them have no idea that All Souls Missoula even exists. We just think these are things worth loving in Missoula, whether you are a Christian or not...

Core Values (Longer Version)

Let's face it - the simple fact that we want to start yet another church is not necessarily a good thing, in and of itself. After all, there are plenty of churches we'd probably all be better off without.

It seems to us that what really matters is what kind of church we want to create, and why. And the best way to get at that (aside from nice long conversations over Cold Smoke) is to look at...

The Things We Value Most

1. Above all else, we value Christ, the Scriptures, & the church - We realize this is not exactly a popular position these days. Of course, it wouldn't be much of a core value if we only held it because it was trendy. We align ourselves with the historic Christian faith, not because we think the Christians got it all right, but rather because we think Christ got it right for us. We think this is the essence of real Christianity - to put all confidence in his perfection rather than in our own.
   
   
2. In an age of deep skepticism and uncertainty, we also value truth - We think people desire truth, and we believe truth is knowable. This is not to say we have it all figured out - we just believe that real Truth is accessible, because it is located in a real living person, Jesus Christ, who has been revealed to us. We believe the Christian faith is profoundly rational (it stands up to intellectual scrutiny), and that it is also existentially satisfying (it makes a real difference in our lives).
   
   
3. We place a premium on authenticity & integrity - We desire to be honest and upfront, not just about what we believe, but about how we as humans constantly fail to measure up to our own standards. We think real integrity requires us to admit our ongoing lack of integrity, not just in our deeds, but in our thoughts and motives too. We think the church is for sinners (like us), not the righteous. So we desire to create a community where sinful people can be brutally honest about their struggles - their doubts, their questions, and their faults - without being rejected for it.
   
   
4. We also value genuine community - where people are accepted not because they agree with us or affirm our position, but simply because they are our friends, created in the image of God. We believe real community meets people where they are, while at the same time caring enough to point out where we still need work. It's a fact: we are often blind to our own sins and shortcomings, even though we are very good at spotting the deficiencies in others. And this is precisely why we need community - I need others to help me see my own flaws and weaknesses, to bear these burdens with me. We are not meant to walk through life alone.
   
   
5. We welcome outsiders & skeptics - people in all stages of their spiritual journey, regardless of where they are (or where they end up). We appreciate questions, concerns, and doubts, even when we don't know the answers. This is true even for those who disagree profoundly - we think you should be able to be a part of what we are about, even if you don't yet believe everything (or anything!). We want our church to be a safe place for people in process to work out their faith, even if it ends up leading them down a different path than ours. We'd rather hang out with honest pagans than dishonest religionists.
   
   
6. We appreciate beauty, the arts, & culture - wherever we find it, whether it is "Christian" or not. We believe God is alive and well and working all over the place, and we're more than happy to celebrate the good and beautiful wherever we find it. We desire to promote these things within the broader community of Missoula, to reflect them in our worship. Ultimately, we desire to live beautiful lives that are focused outward rather than inward, in service rather than consumption.
   
   
7. We are committed to service & stewardship - We believe the church exists to serve - not just itself, but our neighborhoods, our community, and our environment. We need to care about things that matter, about the poor, the oppressed. We should be passionate for justice and sustainability. We seek the welfare of the city, and desire to love the city on its own terms, without strings attached. We must never think of our faith as abstract, or simply theological - real faith works, it makes things better in the world around us.
   
   
8. We value diversity - ethnic, cultural, economic, ideological. We believe a healthy community welcomes a wide range of perspectives and opinions. The last thing we'd want is a church full of people that look and think just like we do (trust me on this).
   
   We also value dialogue - We think that ideas matter, and the best place to work on them is in a community where people are free to think differently. Ultimately, we believe that the Gospel gives us the ability to discuss real differences without fracturing friendships or requiring monolithic agreement. This is only possible when our identity is not tied up in what we think, do, or feel, but is instead located in who we know: Christ.
   
   When I really understand what it means for him to accept me as I am, the acceptance of others becomes much less important. The gospel gets us over ourselves, which is vital for real dialogue in a diverse context.
   
   
9. We are committed to peace & reconciliation - We believe that Christ calls us to be people of peace, and that true peace always starts on a personal level, beginning with those around us. We believe we have a responsibility to seek reconciliation with those we have offended (whether intentionally or not). This happens when we confess our own faults, ask for forgiveness and seek to make amends if need be. If we have wronged someone, we are sincerely committed to making it right.
   
   
10. Last but not least, we value public worship - We believe that all people created to worship, but we are quick to worship all sorts of things other than the living God of the Bible. We are a people prone to idolatry (yes, even in these modern times), and part of our responsibility as a church is to call one another back to true, spiritual worship. While real worship is always more than just a Sunday service, public gatherings are certainly appropriate. It will be a while before we begin this aspect of ministry, but we'd love to have you join us when once it starts (whether you are a believer or not).
    

So there you have it. Not an exhaustive list, but it should help paint a picture of what we value. We welcome you to check us out, and see for yourself how we measure up...

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

I picked up a book last night called The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by Kim Edwards - it was terrible, not because it was bad, but because it was so good: I couldn't put it down until I finished the final pages at 3 in the morning. Argh! Not a good thing, when your alarm goes off at 5:50 AM.

What fascinates me about this book is what it has to say about "secrets." Here's the basic premise (hopefully without giving too much away) - a doctor is forced to deliver his wife's child in the middle of a raging snowstorm. The only complication is that she's actually carrying twins - the first, a healthy beautiful baby boy; the second, a Downs Syndrome baby girl. The year is 1964, when such children are regularly institutionalized - after all, babies like this rarely survive long anyway, and even if they do, their quality of life is marginal at best.

As a doctor, David Henry knows his daughters prognosis full well, and rather than force his young wife Norah to deal with such a tragedy, he makes a snap decision to try and protect her from a lifetime of unspeakable grief. His solution: hand the "defective" daughter to his nurse to deliver to an institution, while he informs his wife of the tragedy - she delivered twins, but her daughter did not survive childbirth. She is dead. Gone.

With that simple little secret, the future is inescapably changed, his doom is sealed - unbeknownst to anyone, the nurse flees into hiding to raise the child as her own.

The rest of the book is riveting, because we get to see firsthand the effects of his fall - on his relationship with his wife, his son, and eventually everyone else around him. It's a tragic book (I'm not sure I could read it again), because it's not Hollywood - it's brutally true to the lives that many of us have experienced ourselves.

The one ray of hope comes unexpectedly, as David Henry confesses everything - no more secrets - to a young woman with child.

In the silence David started talking again, trying to explain at first about the snow and the shock and the scalpel flashing in the harsh light. How he has stood outside himself and watched himself moving in the world. How he had woken up every morning of his life for eithteen years thinking maybe today, maybe this was the day he would put things right. But Phoebe was gone and he couldn't find her, so how could he possibly tell Norah?

The secret had worked its way through their marriage, an insidious vine, twisting; she drank too much, and then she began having affairs, that sleazy realtor at the beach, and then the others; he's tried not to notice, to forgive her, for he knew that in some real sense the fault was his. Photo after photo, as if he could stop time or make an image powerful enough to obscure the moment when he had turned and handed his daughter to Caroline Gill. ...

He had handed his daughter to Caroline Gill and that act had led him here, years later, to this girl in motion of her own, this girl who had decided yes, a brief moment of release in the back of a car or in the room of a silent house, this girl who had stood up later, adjusting her clothes, with no knowledge of how that moment was already shaping her life.

She cut [paper] and listened. Her silence made him free. He talked like a river, like a storm, words rushing through the old house with a force and life he could not stop. At some point he began to weep again, and he could not stop that either. Rosemary made no comment whatsoever. He talked until the words slowed, ebbed, finally ceased.

Silence welled. She did not speak. ...

"All right," she said [at last]. "You're free."

And this single act of honesty produces the deepest intimacy he has ever experienced - it's not sexual, but relational - with a human being who knows the very worst about him and yet who does not reject him for it.

He'd poured out his story to her in such a rush, the first and last time he had ever told it, and she had listened without judging him. There was freedom in that; David could be completely himself with Rosemary, who had listened to what he'd done without rejection him and without telling anyone, either....

He confesses. She accepts him as he his. And he finally finds freedom.

What if the church could be like this - a place where you could lay all your garbage on the table, all the deepest darkest secrets that you've never told anyone, and still find acceptance, forgiveness, love. There is something deeply freeing about honesty and real love - it never minimizes the wrongs we have done; it embraces us in spite of them; and it refuses to leave us in our place of desparate isolation.

I think the church must be like this, because God is like this. And this is the kind of church we desire to be, because this is the only way to experience the freedom of the gospel.

Coffee Shops in Missoula

Ahem. I know we all need to care about global warming, nukes in Idaho, delisting the wolves, and so on, but there's other things that matter too. Like coffee. Lots of coffee. Finding the best coffee. And telling others about it, since after all, we're all in this together and we might as well have a great cup of joe to help us on our way.

Most of my friends know I have a weakness for coffee shops (probably an understatement), and Missoula certainly has a number of options to choose from if you're looking for a great cup of joe. Since I've been here about 6 months now, I'll weigh in with my perspective on some of the establisments that I've discovered thus far. So here's my take on the coffee scene in Missoula...

• Bernice's - great coffee (very strong!), with a nice southern exposure and plenty of glass to stare out of. Downsides include lack of electrical outlets and wireless access, but the variety of folks who call this place home more than makes up for that - you can actually strike up a conversations with people at adjoining tables here, and I like that a lot. If you stay for lunch, try their Herb hardrolls (some kind of cream cheese stuff in the middle, for only a buck... very nice!)
  
  
• Butterfly Herbs - not only the best coffee I've found in Missoula, but also at one of the best prices anywhere ($1.50 gets you a cool mug with unlimited refills). If you like to talk to lots interesting people, this may be one of the best bets around - just belly up to the bar and wait a few minutes. Biggest downside: lack of table space and electrical outlets (I always end up feeling guilty if I sit there for more than a few hours, like I'm stealing from someone else's cache of coffee coolness). If you stop in, be sure to try the Chocolate Berry Blues (choco-covered blueberries)... I start salivating just thinking about them.
  
  
• Break Espresso - one of the best places to drink coffee all day long (eg. it's not so strong that you start shaking after 2 cups) - your best bet is to purchase the coffee card (13 drinks for the price of 10), and then refills are just 25 cents apiece. Lots and lots of tables (by far the biggest coffee shop in town). My only complaints - I wish they replaced a few of the smaller tables with single bigger ones, so you could actually sit and talk to strangers if you feel like it. That and the wireless has been pretty flaky of late. Oh yeah - you simply HAVE to try their ham and cheese breakfast bagel (but dang! they need a new toaster!). And the conversations in the men's bathroom is worth the visit all by itself (How come the woman's bathroom doesn't have stuff like this scrawled all over it? And how would I know?)
  
  
• Liquid Planet - Liquid Planet is one of the very first coffee shops I visited when I came to Missoula, and my initial reaction was "wow, this place is cool". I still think it is, but I don't find myself going in very often. Maybe it just feels a little too commercial. Good coffee, great hot chocolate (my kids LOVE it!), and the breakfast crepes are to die for. Definitely worth checking out. The internet is free now, but lack of outlets can be a problem.
  
  
• Trout River - one of my most recent discoveries, I almost hesitate to even mention this place (kind of like a favorite fishing hole). The Hunter Bay coffee is ok (not great), and refills are too expensive (75 cents), but the atmosphere is exceptional - nice big windows with a south-easterly exposure, great background music, and the place is almost empty (in other words, it's a great spot to study). I really really like that aspect (and heck, it's connected to the fly fishing shop next door... kind of like heaven in that regard).
  
  
• Catalyst - another interesting little shop on Higgins, with pretty decent coffee (and as many refills as you want). I need to spend more time in this place to really get a good feel for it, but I liked it when I visited. The balcony area was cool, but the lack of wireless means I'll probably never spend a lot of time there.
  
  
• City Brew - I used to spend a lot of time in the place back when I lived in Billings (but then again, there aren't exactly a lot of coffee shop options in Billings). Decent coffee (their Ethiopian Harrar is excellent!), free wireless, outlets, nice people, etc. But it still feels too much like a Starbucks for me.
  
  
• Starbucks - yeah, right. Starbucks is kind of a "last resort" for me. I don't think I've purchased a cup since I've come to Missoula. And I'm not missing it. Plus they charge for their Internet. Sheesh... (Hot Tip: Butterfly Herbs sells bumper stickers that say 'Friends don't let friends do Starbucks'... Priceless!). If I do have to drink at Starbucks, I avoid the coffee and order an Americano (much more consistent).
  
  
• Food for Thought - good food, ok cup of coffee, lots of local campus traffic. Nice place to hang out and watch people. But boy those chairs are hard on my butt.
  
  
• Bear's Brew (or something like that) - it's only a block away from Food For Thought. I've only been in once - the atmosphere would have been nice, but guys, can you PLEASE get rid of the little Christian fishy on the sign and ditch the whole Christian music over the sound system. Rich Mullins aside, I cannot STAND most contemporary Christian music (and heck, I'm a pastor - imagine what it feels like for all those poor folks outside of the church). Blech! Blech blech blech. Like getting coffee grounds in that last swig from the bottom of the cup.
  
  
• Barnes & Noble - I love coffee, especially when I'm surrounded by books, but its still too commercial for me (all those Starbucks complaints apply here as well). B&N is kind of a last ditch option for me, when I can't even find a Starbucks. Needless to say, I haven't spent much time here of late. (Aside: how come The Book Exchange doesn't have coffee and internet? That could be really cool...)

So that's pretty much it for right now. If someone knows of places I'm missing I'd love to hear about it. Until then, I still stand by my earlier lament (see I Need an Infusion) - what I miss most in coffee shops in this town is a big common study table where lots of people can sit together, study, and then chat every now and again when they feel like it. I still haven't found that kind of community aspect yet, but I'll keep on quaffing, and if I do, I'll be sure to let you know...